The B.I.G. Girl’s Guide To Life January 8, 2008
Hey beautiful people…while I try to figure on what’s gong on with this blog…check out my new blogzine The B.I.G. Girl’s Guide To Life! I hope to see you all over there soon.Kissez,
SueZette
“There’s no more room left to grow, and you won’t find yourself till you leave me….” from “Gone” by Esthero October 15, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere…”My Love”-Jill Scott**
Part 1…I Suck…
And I know this.
Please believe that haven’t been writing because I’ve had so much going on. Some days it seems like too much, but I do think about my blog often and what I have and have not done.
I’ll be back soon…with many stories to share…
“Nothing comes from nothing…nothing ever could”-from “Something Good” from the Sound of Music Soundtrack August 13, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere…Random Noise @ Whole Foods**
Part 1…50 More Thangs…
So where was I…hmmm…
51. I recently met a much older man that would like to take me out
52. While I’ve never considered dating a more “mature” man
53. The gold digger that resides in the back of my closet is chanting “Show me the money…”
54. I’m just saying..I do have dreams of my X3
53. I need to a hire a maid before I can’t find anything in my house
54. I feel sorry for whoeever I marry because I despise house work
55. I’m so thankful for all of the great opportunities, blessings, and challenges the Lord has brought into my life
56. I feel myself become a better person
57. And I love her
58. I need to start going to the gym
59. I have a destination wedding next August in Jamaica that I’ve gotta be extra fine for
60. I wish I was closer to my family that lives in Atlanta
61. I also think bonding should be a two way street
62. Its amazing that I’m closer to most of my friends that I am to people I share blood with
63. I hate to say it, but sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water…it’s just another color
64. I’m ready to upgrade my blog
65. I’m ready to upgrade my life as a writer
66. I need better time management
67. If I stay in Atlanta I’m planning on buying a house
68. I actually want a townhouse somewhere in the city
69. I love being a city girl and I wouldn’t have it any other way
70. I’ve decided that for me love will be a journey
71. And I’m waiting patiently for the man that will join me on that journey
72. I’m all for seeing the glass as being half full
73. But I recognize that sometimes…it’s running on empty
74. Writing this list is hard for me
75. Because I feel like there are things that I’m leaving out
76. But I mean…I’m more than 100 things
77. My composition is infinite
78. Giving up chicken and red meat has really changed the way my body functions
79. So has the daily venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks
80. That was a really bad habit to pick-up
81. But I’m sure it could be worse
82. I’m going to officially do my modeling portfolio sometime this fall
83. I took headshots earlier this year
84. But I’ve been lazy about telling Brandon which ones I want him to spruce up
85. I’ve adjusted my oldest son and daughter’s names… Czar Gerrod and Noire Ali…the emperor and the fighter
86. I don’t care what people think especially when people got children named after rainbows and pots and pans
87. I’mma try to get to work before 9 tomorrow
88. Considering I slept for like 11 hours today…I think I’ve had all of the sleep that I need
89. If I could change one thing about myself I’d change my hair color
90. And considering I do that at least twice a year anyway…
91. I’ve loved two men in my life
92. And though neither have ended in infinity
93. It won’t stop me from loving again
94. I’m ready to be open and to give and receive
95. The advice I would give any woman is…
96. Live….
97. I’m living proof
98. That it is possible
99. I live everyday
100. To become new
101. And I love every second of it
” ‘Good-bye’ is just as good of an ending, as it is a beginning…”-SueZette, 2007 August 5, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere….”Take the Box”-Amy Winehouse**
Part 1…One to 101…
So I saw Tee had redone hers last month…and I was like what the hell…let me revisit my 101 thangs list…
1. When I was a little girl I went by my middle name…Yasmin
2. I used to get upset if anyone called me SueZette
3. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family goes by their middle name
4. I couldn’t imagine not being SueZette now
5. I sat in my house and cried for 30 minutes after reading/watching this last night…
6. I’m thinking about moving to Ghana for a year….2009
7. My 4 year anniversary for living in Atlanta is August 15, 2007
8. I never imagined that I would be here that long
9. I really want either a BMW x3 or x5
10. I am not too good for a used one
11. It would be a very nice 26th birthday gift to myself
12. Carmax here I come!
13. When I graduated from kindergarten I said that I wanted to be a photographer
14. Now I really want to be a writer
15. I’ve decided that I do want to have children even if I don’t get married
16. Somedays I wake up and I don’t want to talk to anyone
17. It’s those days that I just want to write and write and write
18. I’m a firm believer in when I blow up…we all blow up
19. Fame won’t change me
20. Have I mentioned that I WILL BE FAMOUS one day
21. I need to get my ends trimmed
22. I haven’t kissed anyone since April
23. I like kissing
24. I like it a lot
25. I tried to call Number One and tell him it’s best we don’t speak to each other anymore…he didn’t answer
26. I’mma tell him when he calls me back
27. I’m ready to say it and I never thought I would be
28. I’ll always love him as a person
29. I love me more though
30. I have a purse fetish
31. They don’t have to be expensive…just unique
32. I am also overcoming an addiction to MAC…especially the eyeshadows
33. I have almost 100 shades
34. I just think its a better addiction than say…crack
35. I’m currently in the midst of a 4 month fast from red meat and chicken
36. The first week was hard
37. But I’ve broken the cravings
38. Hopefully this fast will lead me toward more clairty
39. I have a very private piercing
40. I am not ashamed of it
41. I think I want to get a nose ring next
42. I wouldn’t tell my partner…I’d let him find it
43. It’s not freaky…it’s experimental 
44. I haven’t been home since February
45. I miss my mummy terribly
46. Maybe I’ll sneak away next month
47. It would be nice to sneak away in a new car
48. A 6.5 hour drive should be done in style
49. This list is making me sleepy
50. I’ll do the other half tomorrow
“I don’t wanna know what’s under your disguise…And I don’t need to see what’s on the inside…Let me enjoy this cause it was all just a beautiful lie…”-from “Beautiful Lie” by Esthero July 23, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere…”Now You’re Gone”-Floetry**
Part 1…Vain Moment…
I like this picture of myself…
Thank you for indulging me in my vain moment…I’m in love with my eyebrows…I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog entry…LMAO…
Part 2…Love-n-Marriage…
So I found out that a good friend of mine just got engaged and I am so excited for her….man…I can’t believe I’m starting to book my weddings for 2008 already. I think this makes 4. Wow.
I guess this is the age that people decide to have and to hold until death do they part.
Hmmm…not to say that I am not interested in a wedding….it’s the married part I can’t quite grasp. Considering the one person that I’ve ever thought seriously about spending eternity with has banished me to emotional girlfriendom…I don’t know where I stand on that issue.
But the wedding…yo…the wedding is the part I can’t wait for. Talk about party with a purpose…I’m Jamaican…and if you’ve been to a Caribbean wedding…you know…it’s a bashment fi true! Yeah…yeah…yeah….I know what I want my colors to be…Eggplant (I’m changing the name to Her Majesty…since it looks a lot classier on the program than Eggplant), Ivory, and Champagne. I know my mother’s giving me away. I want my own best man (Xavier). I know I’m having one matron of honor (Kimberlee) and two maids of honors (Meca & Diana). I know I’m having 10-12 bridesmaids. I know I’m having 2 junior bridesmaids. I know I”m having 2 flowergirls.
What I don’t know is…WHO DA HUSBAND? LMAO.
Last weekend my mother and I…for some odd reason had this entire conversation about me getting married. I admitted that in some past, present, or future life…I thought Number One was meant to be my husband. She said if he wasn’t just make sure that my husband was from the Line of David.
Homegirl rendered me speechless. The Line of David? Now ain’t that some deep ish to say. Xavier was like..what can you say after somebody tells you that…
Exactly.
Part 3…Zette On The Net…
Check out my girl Ms. Tee’s new e-zine Share My Dreams…featuring your’s truly….
http://www.te-erika.com/2007/07/free-your-mind-living-in-big-girls.html
“But theres something that gets under my skin….And all I know is I cant let go….And that’s the way it is…”-from “Missing You” by Mary J. Blige July 12, 2007
Now playing in my atmosphere…”I Never Dreamed You’d Leave In Summer”-Stevie Wonder
Part 1…Back Havin…
I believe one of the most important rules of friendship…especially during adulthood…is not giving your friends one sided accounts of your relationhships….specifically the BAD accounts.
You see the funny thing is…we remember the bad a lot more readily than we can point out the good. Call it human nature or whatever you life, but its a fact. So it shouldn’t be surprising that your girls aren’t gonna be so quick to forget when that mofo did you wrong….had you up all night…wailing about how he and all men are dawgs and that you don’t ever want to see him again.
Can you really expect your friends to doing toe touches when two weeks later…you’re back with him talking ’bout how happy you are with him and that your love is stronger than ever? Naw babygirl…cuz see…friends…friends don’t forget.
You see me…I’m upfront with my friends…I don’t give advice and I don’t like being in your romantic relationships….soooo…don’t ask me advice about you romantic relationships. From time to time…I’ll share this tidbit of information with their significant others, If she comes back to you with some off the wall concept about what yall should or should not be doing in your relationship…she didn’t get that shit for me…cuz I simply don’t give a damn about what’s going on in your situation.
Heartless…slightly…
Real…very.
Shit…I’m not the one that has to look at that fucker and decide if he’s lifemate material.
I mean on the few occasions that I have gotten involved in my friends romantic situations…it hasn’t gone very well and I remove myself immediately…or as soon as possible….because like I said….I don’t have to decide if that fucker is lifemate material.
Ok…that and I have a 6′1” complex. Which means…I’m not afraid to step to a dude…especially when I think he’s out of line. Vicious…yo…that side of my personality is not to be ramped with. My philosophy…take a broad on that’s your size…
Recently, I found myself in a situation where I saw a strong black woman…become a fragile…broken person over the loss of her signficant other. In the name of sisterhood and the fact that I love her inside-out…I bore that pain with her…only to have my girl end up back with that piece of manure.
Now…she knows clearly..how I feel about him…not only because I haven’t bitten my tongue about it, but also because my face does this snarled…stank look when he’s in my presence. However, I recognize that’s she a grown woman…clearly living her own life…so out of respect for her…when she brought him to dinner the other night…I didn’t give his ass the two piece to the jaw that my inner Tampa was chanting in my ear that I should do. Instead, I insisted that he take his ass to the bar since our table was for 5 and him and his friend would make 7.
He clearly knows that I don’t like his ass either, but he said her friends have to learn that he’s changed. Quite frankly, fucker…you ain’t got to prove it to me. You just handle your business…cuz…I still owe you two licks. 50 feet should be the minimum amount of distance that he should keep himself away from me….lol.
Friends don’t forget your tears or your pain…friends also don’t punish you for the decisions you make. They love you unconditionally…and mumble nasty things under their breath when that mofo’s in the area…lol.
“Love is not loud…”-From “Tell Him” by Lauryn Hill July 9, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere…”Bed”-J. Holiday**
Part 1…All Types of Fuckery…
Howdy!!
What a pleasantly quiet weekend this has been after such a hectic week. **Sigh** I needed peace and quiet and that’s just what I got…peace…quiet…quiet….peace.
Instead of allowing myself to do too much thinking…I did what anybody in my position would do…I made it a Blockbuster weekend. I love the whole buy previously viewed movies thing. I got Shadowboxer, Idlewild, Blood Diamonds, Stomp the Yard, and G. **Sigh** Yes, indeed.
Last weekend…wasn’t so peaceful.
Between Country Boy and Number One…I’m totally in need of a testosterone break. A straight up boycott. It occured to me earlier that I give both of these fuckers a little too much air time in this blog…I might have to change that.
Country Boy asked me why I was so tough…
Because when I’m not…you think you can walk all over me…
Meanwhile back on the ranch…I really should have been having the same damn talk with Number One, because now that he’s back in my good favor…homeboy is tryna tap dance on my damn patience….
Someone once asked me…if I was really into Number One and attempting to create a future with him…why I would still be involved with other people….the answer is simple….WHY THE HELL WOULD I COMMIT MYSELF TO SOMEONE THAT ISN’T COMMITTED TO ME. Silly heffa was so 2006. I’ll leave the whole imaginary boyfriend thing to them. This chick right here has no time for the fuckery.
Why are you so tough?
Because when I get phone calls on June 30th from Number One saying that he’ll be too busy to talk to me in July, but that he’ll holla at me in August…maybe August 6th or 8th…
I feel like you think you can feed me some bull and think I’mma take it.
Maybe he thought I’d be sad…upset…hurt….
I don’t think he was prepared when I replied, Bet…but let’s not set a date…I don’t want to make any definitive plans.
Was I hurt…hell yeah…was I mad…oh hell yeah…was I going to give him the benefit of knowing that…hell no. Apparently he forgot….I was the person that had no problem taking a break from him.
But again…he had the perfect ass timing thing that I’m slowly begining to despise. Just as I hit publish on last Sunday’s post…he called and said, “Can you believe how quickly August came….” Translation: That bull I shot you yesterday was wrong…and I know exactly who I’m dealing with…
I had dinner with my homeboy last week and he presented me with an interesing concept…he says I’ve become Number One’s emotional girlfriend.
His emotional girlfriend? He defined it for me….she’s a chick you’re not in a relationship with (and may never be)…but you share a deep and emotional connection with. She completes you in a way no other woman can, BUT you’re just not with her. He said its how attached men end up in emotional affairs with women.
I DON’T WANT TO BE ANYBODY’S EMOTIONAL GIRLFRIEND!
Why are you so tough?
Because I deserve a lot better than what these negroids are tryna give me. Stop clogging up my damn pipes…make way for the King meant for this Queen…
“If she’s so fine then that’s where you should be…your eyes better not wander when you’re walking next to me…”-from “Eyes Better Not Wander” by Nicole Wray July 3, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere…”2Moro”-Lil Mo**
Part 1…Feeling like A.N.R….
I made a cardinal error people…yep…I made the mistake of thinking I was special. I had my first official Anika Noni Rose revelation/moment this weekend.
See if you can feel me on this…this woman is a Tony Award winning actress…who in my opinion has a better voice than BeBe or J. Hudson. She was probably extremely excited about participating in the DreamGirls project…excited to be a part of the cast…she probably loved the experience…and for a split second…she probably thought she was special. And then…they started promoting the movie and it was billed at Bebe, Jen, & Friends. And she was probably like damn…I guess I’m not.
Yeah…that ish sucks….
“If you love somebody and you break-up…where does the love go?”-Carrie on Sex and the City June 18, 2007
**Now playing in my atmosphere…”Walk In My Shoes”-Emily King**
Part 1…Truth Be Told…
I’ve been thinking about this post all day. I couldn’t wait until I found the right moment to sit down and write this. Who knew it would be 12:30 in the a.m. as I wait semi-patiently for my lasagna to finish baking.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the truths of life…it’s interesting…
1. We open our legs a lot quicker than we open our hearts…
It’s interesting to me that as women, we willingly share our bodies in the name of sexual gratification, but we’re pickey about who give our hearts to. Isn’t their something fundamentally wrong with that? Both parts of our anatomies are equally precious…
2. We give meaning to the meaningless.
Sometimes it just isn’t that deep or that serious…
3. It is easier to give advice than to take advice.
While I don’t like either end of this stick…giving or reciving….lol, I’ve noticed that people readily have commentary for other people’s lives, yet rarely want a remedy for their own.
4. Go for yours…nobody’s going to give it to you.
If you want it, go after it.
5. The things most appreciated in this life are the ones we work hardest for.
Nuff said.
6. The world owes you nothing.
It’s when you get over the sense of entitlement, that you begin the process of growth.
7. It’s possible to be the one he wants, without him knowing it.
See number 4 above.
More truths coming soon….
“I’ve been waiting restlessly for the words to a song…change it all….”-from “Change It All” by Goapele June 1, 2007
** Now playing in my atmosphere…”I Bruise Easily”-Natasha Bedingfield**
So it’s time for a change.
Change…life’s only inevitable is also a very good thing. Change signifies growth. I needed a new writing space…what can I say. There’s a lot of pressure…writing somewhere for years and years…
Plus…my new personal website is launching soon and I mean…you wouldn’t take an old broom into a new house would you?
To my old readers…I hope you enjoy my musings new spot on the web…I’m still moving in…give me a sec to make this home…
To my new readers…welcome to my life…enjoy your stay!
